Doing and Redoing: The Choice to Forgive Again

There are very few things as unnerving as dishes, laundry, and mowing the lawn. There are tasks that are never fully accomplished. The very act of being human requires eating, dressing, and maintaining. We find ourselves doing again and again these acts. Every time, it seems as though the sink might sit empty for a period of time, meals are eaten and dishes are used to prepare and consume it. Every time it seems as though the impossible has been achieved and the laundry baskets sit empty, they are filled with the day’s outfits and the cycle begins again. The lawn grows, grows, and never seems to trim itself. There is a regularity and predictability to this daily chores and a weariness in their need.

Simon Wiesenthal wrote a book in 1969 and re-released it in 1997. The book was entitled The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness. His premise was personal and universal. He told the true story of his experience one day in a Nazi concentration camp. Simon was an Austrian Jew, who like so many, was rounded up and take to the concentration camps, exposed to pure evil in many forms. On a particular day, a nurse found him and took him to the hospital room of a SS guard, a 22-year-old German Nazi guard, who was dying. The guard had reflected on the horror that he and others had committed against the Jewish people and was distraught. On his deathbed, he sought the forgiveness of Jew for the atrocities that he had committed or been complicit in. In detail, he recounted with grief these horrors. In the end, he sought and begged forgiveness from Simon. Simon responded with silence, leaving the hospital room of the dying man.

The book encapsulates the story in the first portion of the book, and then includes 51 responses from others in the second portion of the book. They respond to the question that Simon ends his portion with: ask yourself, “What would I have done?” The responses come from religious leaders, victims of other genocides, journalists, political leaders, and many more. The responses are diverse, and many agree with Simon’s ultimate decision that some things are beyond forgiveness, murder, torture, and systematic removal of a people being some of them. Others talk about the hard work of forgiving even the most heinous of offenses so that they will no longer hold one’s heart or mind.
While we may not have been directly impacted by the genocides of our time in World War 2, Bosnia, Cambodia, China, Tibet, or Darfur, some of us may know the painful daily reminders of being abused or been the victim of a crime. We might struggle with forgiveness for someone who hurt us mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually, or spiritually. The work of forgiveness is part of the walk of those who follow the way of Christ. We turn to the scriptures to see who God calls us to be a world filled with brokenness and pain. The prophet Isaiah calls the people of Israel to the way of God, not just to mediocrity and impulses of humanity. Isaiah reminds us that God too is burdened with our sin. We, too transgress the boundaries that have been set for us. We, too, weary God with our iniquities. However, we are not dead in our sin. We are not stopped, before we have even begun. God, who is doing a new thing, blots out our sins and remembers them no more. God makes a way where there is no way. God’s way is better than our human instincts to hang onto the hurt and the pain of being human. God’s way calls us to incredible accountability and life-changing freedom.

Jesus expands on the newness of God’s way in the gospel of Luke. Jesus speaks to the leaders and the disciples of the importance of their example. Jesus says to disciples, others watch how you follow me with keen interest. They wish not only to watch, but to imitate exactly. Therefore, the way that you follow me is so vital, that if you want to throw others off, if you cause another to falter, be on your guard – the consequences are grave. In fact, he goes on, let us talk a bit about the business of forgiveness. You must forgive – even beyond what seems polite and measured. Forgive each time an offender offer repentance. Repentance is the act of turning back towards God. Every time you see someone turn back towards God, offer him or her your forgiveness, even if you have already offered it many times that day.

It is here that I think Jesus might not have someone else doing his dishes or his laundry or cutting his lawn. The full impact of the dailyness of forgiveness is not lost on him – in fact, I think he invites it, because it changes us. We are changed by the repetition. We are changing by choosing to forgive our spouse, each time they hurt us. We are changing by choosing to forgive our co-worker every time they forget to include us on an essential email. We are changing by choosing to forgive our sibling each time they bring up the same incident from our childhood, of which we are not proud. We are being changing more and more into the image of Christ.

As I read the reflections of 51 brilliant minds, I heard anger and weariness, I heard hopelessness and finality. I heard honesty and authenticity from those who could not imagine another way. These are the words that resonated most deeply in most soul as I thought about the One who forgave those who executed him, tortured him, betrayed him, and denied his very being – “As a Christian, I am told that God is a gracious Other, but I also need to be a gracious brother. Gracelessness helps produce totalitarianisms as much as cheap grace might. If there is to be grace, it must be mediated through people. We have to see the potentials in the lives of even the worst people, have to see that it is we who can dam the flow of grace… If I forgive in the face of true repentance and new resolve, I am free… Forgiving and being forgiven are experiences that allow me to free for a new day .” Martin Marty, the great Christian writer, calls us again to be who God shaped us to be – Forgiven and forgiving people. We are free from sin, through the forgiveness that has offered us daily.

Choosing to forgive is not a once and done activity. We do not forgive the one who belittled us at a party once. We choose to forgive them every time our mind recalls the hurtful words they said, and a part of us wonders if there is any validity to what they have said. Every time we replay the exchange of our boss’s criticism in our minds, we choose to forgive. We forgive over and over and over again. Like a rock that is shaped by the river that flows over it, we forgive because God showed us an example of forgiveness and a new way of freedom. We are shaped more fully into the image of God as we emulate who Jesus is.

Now, I realize that when we are most honest, we would rather not forgive again and again. We would rather not offer those who have afflicted us grace and mercy. We would rather allow those who caused us pain, to receive some of their own medicine. And the book, The Sunflower, includes some articulate and erudite responses to this effect as well. However, they all call upon the amplification and celebration of our worst parts, instead of the striving endeavor of who God calls us to be most fully.

So, as you fold laundry and scrub dishes, mow the lawn and do all of the repetitive tasks that compose your weeks, remember that offering forgiveness is a repetitive choice we make. You and I are called again and again to remember the people who God has created us to be. Grace and forgiveness are mediated through us. We can either repeatedly offer the true grace of God or dam the flow, judging the worthiness of others. As Simon Wiesthal suggested, the choice is ours – what would you do?

New Testament Lesson: Isaiah 43:15-28
I am the Lord, your Holy One, the Creator of Israel, your King.
Thus says the Lord, who makes a way in the sea, a path in the mighty waters, who brings out chariot and horse, army and warrior; they lie down, they cannot rise, they are extinguished, quenched like a wick:
Do not remember the former things, or consider the things of old.
I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
The wild animals will honor me, the jackals and the ostriches; for I give water in the wilderness, rivers in the desert, to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom I formed for myself so that they might declare my praise.
Yet you did not call upon me, O Jacob; but you have been weary of me, O Israel!
You have not brought me your sheep for burnt offerings, or honored me with your sacrifices. I have not burdened you with offerings, or wearied you with frankincense.
You have not bought me sweet cane with money, or satisfied me with the fat of your sacrifices. But you have burdened me with your sins; you have wearied me with your iniquities.
I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.
Accuse me, let us go to trial; set forth your case, so that you may be proved right.

Your first ancestor sinned, and your interpreters transgressed against me.
Therefore I profaned the princes of the sanctuary, I delivered Jacob to utter destruction, and Israel to reviling.

Gospel Lesson: Luke 17:1-4
Some Sayings of Jesus

Jesus said to his disciples, “Occasions for stumbling are bound to come, but woe to anyone by whom they come!  It would be better for you if a millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea than for you to cause one of these little ones to stumble. Be on your guard!

If another disciple sins, you must rebuke the offender, and if there is repentance, you must forgive.  And if the same person sins against you seven times a day, and turns back to you seven times and says, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive.”